The past is a heavy burden that weighs a person down and prevents them from growing into the amazing person they ought to be. So many people are walking around carrying the weight of a painful past upon their shoulders, somehow stuck, unable to move on and get on with their lives. Why do people do that to themselves when it clearly doesn’t help?
“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” – Buddha
I think that one of the main reasons is that when we are young and attending school, learning as much as possible before being thrust into the big world, we have no real idea of how to deal with failures, losses, breakups etc. All we see is the negativity that surrounds us, the media, T.V. and world wars and I think that growing up in all this, trains us, our minds to dwell on negativity and stress. You only have to go to your Facebook page to see what I’m talking about, where people post daily about how bad they feel about a problem or how a thing always happens to them and they are sick of it.
I’m going to list some of the areas that I believe people focus on the most in regards to their past, and give the best advice that I can about how to overcome and move on from the heavy, burdensome baggage.
The Main Areas
1. Previous failures: Dwelling on past failures and not taking action because of past failure means that a person has halted completely in their progress. This happened because they dwelt for too long on the failure and made it become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only way to get over this, is to start achieving, no matter how small the achievement, it is going to assist you in developing a new mindset, one of achievement, rather than failure. Eventually, you can achieve greater things, as long as you continually attempt to grow, the past will fade into the distance.
“I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustrations were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.” – Tony Robbins
2. Previous relationships: People dwelling on past relationships will never be able to move on and have fulfilling relationships with others. This means a life of loneliness and pain in an ever revolving cycle, like a roller coaster, with highs and extreme lows. You’ll never be in full control. Don’t be afraid of what the future holds; in fact ask yourself what you learned from the failed relationship. Analyze it and learn, then remember the lesson and the good times, everything else is baggage that will drag you down. Life is about lessons and if you refuse to learn the lesson, then I’m afraid you’ll be experiencing that same lesson over and over, until you do.
3. A person who caused pain: Vengeance and blame fills the hearts of many, and if you look closely at these people’s lives, you’ll see that they spend their time looking to blame and accuse others of trying to damage them in some way. Again, this is just a habit, a by-product of spending too much time dwelling on the fact that you were hurt in the past. Dwelling of this type, turns you into a blamer, accuser and as a result, you never get very far in life. If you were ever hurt by someone, the only thing you can do is forgive, learn and move on. It happened; it’s over and no longer needs to be mentioned again. Move on, strengthened, wiser and with more knowledge than you had previously. Keep growing and experiencing, for that is what life is for!
Author: Richard J. O’Neill